hope no one reads all the bs I post

Feeling so isolated from the world. Everyday the same routine happens, wakes up putting makeup and all, goes to school for maybe 2 max 3hrs, straight back home after class. Frolics at home for a while before cooking dinner for myself and then back to books. It's like I've got no life at all. Can't find anyone as boring as I am.

It'd be good if someone could maybe just jio me out for coffee or something. I'm bored as hell all by myself in this empty apartment. Yes, maybe I need to socialize more. I can't help but feel so self-conscious all the time, it's as though I'm being judged 24/7. Not smart enough, not pretty enough, not thin enough. Have been binge eating for 2 weeks or maybe 3 already. This mid-sem stress is getting to me and I hate myself for starting out so late at revision. Need to hit the gym next week after this pharmacology mid-sem.

Side track...urgh I think my stupid eczema is back with all this stress. corners of my mouth and finger feel so dry and itchy. And my face, pimples and dry skin popping up. So disgusted by everything.

Just wanna text / ring someone up but it's like we already lost contact and no one knows what to say. And I hate being the one always having to initiate.

YOU SHOULD BE STUDYING FOR YOUR MST

Have been neglecting this space for a while a really long time. Anatomy Mid-Semester Test tomorrow but here I am...procrastinating as usual. Have got tons of stuff on my mind which got me thinking, well basically that's me...when I'm alone all by myself *cues song*

Series of incidents that really made me stop, think and think again if it was all worthwhile. Rewinding time to 3 years ago, things were so much easier. But it's always too late to look back 'cause time cannot rewind itself.

Was originally hyped and excited about leaving Singapore to chase my dreams. Thought everything would remain the same and that the people who stood by me would continue to stand by me. But, I was wrong. It seems like people have gone back on their words and distanced themselves away from me. All the "let's meet up" never came true, all the "we should keep in contact" were forgotten.

Was it something I said? Was it something I did? Maybe...it's just me?

I should just stop...being me.

Okay, enough with all this negativity...back to memorizing....

But arghhhhh...spring break please comeeeeee

I feel suffocated already.

Same old regime every single day...can't help that I'm such a bore to hang out with....

too many wild thoughts.
everything just seems to be crumbling as it used to.
finally had a htht but I just can't seem to get it off my mind.
what are all these feels, it's like I was never there but it happened.
gibberish thoughts, unknown feelings and meaningless words.
you will never know.


back to studying and just keeping myself at bay from thinking.

遗憾是幸福的前奏，要经历好几次的失去，才会听见获得的旋律；错过只是个休止符，曾经遭遇过时间的捉弄，才会知道缘分的可贵。

拥有过，就不怕再见。